Scared to Try Individual Therapy? Why the Enneagram & Brainspotting Might Be a Great Combo for You
If you’ve visited most any corner of the Internet over the past couple of years, you’ve likely noticed the increasingly warm, collective embrace of therapy as a whole.
Pop psychology is common, of course. But even mental health professionals have taken to platforms like Instagram and TikTok to share their knowledge and insights. The best accounts out there work hard to share foundational information while also encouraging readers to seek individualized care.
Hey, I am all about this. I love that we’ve decided to start kicking the stigma of mental healthcare to the curb. I also love knowing that so many licensed professionals are lending their trusted voices to the social media realm.
But in my comment-section travels, I’ve also learned something really important…
At the end of the day, some people are flat-out scared to try individual therapy.
And that’s okay! Let’s talk about it.
What is individual therapy, anyway?
First, let’s answer this question: What IS individual therapy?
As opposed to couples therapy or group therapy, for example, individual therapy – also commonly referred to as psychotherapy or psychosocial therapy – is a type of counseling where a qualified professional works one-on-one with a client around thoughts, feelings, or behaviors that have been identified as troublesome or problematic.
This approach is often called “talk therapy” because the primary thing that happens is discussion between the therapist and the client.
This practice has been around for a long time. In fact, the term psychotherapy derives from Ancient Greek. It was during this time period – way back when – that mental health first emerged as a concept.
The field has come a long way since then. Many therapeutic techniques have undergone rigorous scientific study and long-term clinical observation to prove their effectiveness.
So you can rest assured, if you’re feeling isolated or struggling in some way, there is something out there that can help.
Really! The research doesn’t lie.
“Well, what kind of ‘struggles’ are we talking about, Melinda?” you might ask.
Great question!
What Can Individual Therapy Help With?
Individual therapy can address mental, emotional, and behavioral issues.
So you might see a therapist for help around anxiety, stress, family or relationship issues, addiction or substance abuse, anger, challenges around identity or sexuality, low self-esteem, flashbacks, etc. Individual therapy can help you overcome the obstacles to health and happiness created by these things.
In some cases, individual therapy might serve as one part of a larger treatment plan – for example, if you’re working to overcome substance abuse or through the emotional aspects of a medical diagnosis.
And your timeline will vary, too, based on your unique situation. For example, individual therapy sessions are typically between 45 and 60 minutes long. A full course of therapy might consist of a handful of sessions with a therapist – or it might last for a much longer time.
This will depend on a few different factors:
The issues you want to address
Any underlying mental health conditions you’re experiencing
The length of time you’ve been experiencing the issue and how much it’s impacting your daily life
How quickly you find relief or improvement through therapy
What your individual goals for therapy are
Shorter-term therapy might focus on more immediate concerns. Brainspotting therapy, for example, is an individual therapy technique that can be used for pressing issues like self-esteem, work stress, attentional issues, or even writer’s block – often with quick results.
“WAIT, what’s Brainspotting therapy??”
Another great question! Don’t worry – we’ll get there.
The point is, ultimately, your time in therapy will be personalized to address your unique needs. And that’s something social media just can’t say.
You Might Be Scared To Try Therapy
Movies and television tend to depict therapy the same way, over and over again. Lots of people come away with the idea that therapy involves a couch and a formally-dressed therapist holding a bright yellow legal pad.
And maybe that’s been your experience in the past, too. Those therapists are out there, and that approach can work well for some people.
For others, though, traditional talk therapy can feel overwhelming – even scary.
Maybe you...
...Have tried therapy before and had a bad experience.
Maybe your therapist was really formal, and it left you feeling like you were floating around in a petri dish. Or maybe the opposite was true – maybe you had a therapist who got too personal too fast, or made assumptions about your thoughts or feelings.
Whatever the case, you and your therapist didn’t mesh. You didn’t feel heard or understood, and your experience left you hesitant to try again.
...Are afraid of what people will think.
While therapy is becoming more common and a more popular choice for lots of people, stigmas can still exist, especially in certain cultures or communities. Maybe you’re afraid of what your loved ones will think or say if they find out you’re seeing an individual therapist.
...Are nervous you’ll be judged or don’t want to open up to a stranger.
It can feel really hard to open up to a stranger, especially about some of the toughest things you’re going through. Maybe you’re afraid a therapist won’t understand, or they’ll judge you for your circumstances or decisions you’ve made.
Maybe you’re afraid to try therapy for a different reason altogether.
There are lots of reasons you might feel a little bit squidgy about the idea of individual therapy…
But I think there’s a perfect combination of techniques – two in particular – that can make trying therapy a whole lot easier.
I’m a Big Fan of Enneagram Therapy
There are two techniques I use regularly in my individual therapy practice. The first is Enneagram therapy.
The Enneagram as a personality assessment tool has grown in popularity over the years – but the framework offers so much more than fun party comparisons amongst friends! It can help us understand ourselves better, and that has a lot of value on its own.
Enneagram therapy uses the Enneagram framework to help clients identify the ways in which they subconsciously navigate their environments to get their needs met. Sometimes, we develop unhealthy patterns of behavior that simply stop serving us well over time. Enneagram therapists use the Enneagram tool to guide their clients toward a deeper understanding of their own motivations, resulting in the adoption of healthier patterns.
Put simply, using the Enneagram in therapy can help identify the patterns you engage in most frequently – even if you don’t realize you’re in them!
Brainspotting Is an Effective Alternative to Traditional Talk Therapy
The second technique I love is called Brainspotting.
Brainspotting Therapy stimulates the part of the brain where memories are stored. A trained therapist can use this technique to help a client work through traumatic experiences, shame or low self-esteem, interpersonal issues, anxiety, and many other challenges.
Why do I love this technique? It uses a really simple premise to get at clients’ sticky points: because the position of our eyes can stimulate the part of our brain where memories are stored, Brainspotting says that where we look can impact how we feel.
Since we can manipulate the position of our own eyes, we can affect our own feelings the same way.
Combining the Enneagram and Brainspotting is, Honestly, Revolutionary
I use the word “revolutionary” when I think or talk about the combination of the Enneagram and Brainspotting – and I’m not exaggerating. It truly is *chef’s kiss*.
I really believe that these two techniques, when combined, can be the answer for a lot of people who might otherwise struggle with more traditional forms of therapy.
To some degree, traditional talk therapy relies on the ability of the client to report their own thoughts, patterns, and struggles. While this often works very well, there can also be stumbling blocks:
Some people are better than others at communicating and processing verbally.
Many people aren’t naturally comfortable with analyzing their own lives and behaviors through a therapeutic lens.
Sometimes, life just gets too busy to spend a lot of time picking apart the details so we can accurately report back to our therapists.
And so on.
But combining the Enneagram and Brainspotting bypasses many of these obstacles. Using the Enneagram in therapy can isolate the patterns you might not even know you have.
Knowing is only half the battle, though – and learning about your patterns doesn’t guarantee you’ll be able to easily break free of the ones causing you trouble.
That’s where Brainspotting comes in.
Brainspotting can help you get beyond those patterns. It can help you overcome the fears that keep you operating the same way, over and over.
And the best part?
It can help you process and evolve – the feelings, the memories, and any tricky associations – without you having to change the behavior by yourself.
What To Expect During Your First Individual Therapy Session
So you’re interested in trying a combination of the Enneagram and Brainspotting. And you want to know what to expect.
That makes sense – I would, too!
Your first session in individual therapy will be focused on getting to know your therapist and giving them the opportunity to learn more about you, your background, and your goals for therapy.
When you work with me, for example, this is where I get to be nosy. (#SorryNotSorry!) I’ll ask you to tell me about your relevant history, the reasons you decided to make an appointment, and what YOU want to get out of our time together.
We’ll talk about the things in your life that are causing you concern, as well as the future you hope to see after working together. You can expect to talk about your mental, physical, and emotional health, as well as any significant experiences you’ve had that you suspect might be contributing to your current challenges.
Your first individual therapy session is a great time to find out if you and your therapist are a good match.
During your first session with an individual therapist, both you and your therapist will have the opportunity to decide if working together is a good fit.
Some people find it easy to talk about themselves – others don’t. It can be overwhelming at first and even feel awkward or frustrating to tell a therapist all about your past, your current struggles, and your hopes for the future.
As a therapist, I understand just how tough it can be to sit down and talk about the hardest things in your life to a total stranger – I’ve been there. My goal (and the goal of many therapists) is to make sure you feel comfortable sharing… That you know I’m not judging you. This is how we’ll build the kind of trusting relationship that allows us to make real progress toward your goals.
About those goals…
Setting Goals for Individual Therapy
A major part of individual therapy is setting your goals. Sometimes these are specific – maybe you want to get back to hobbies you once loved or learn to set boundaries with family or friends.
Or maybe your goals involve having fewer flashbacks to a traumatic event, overcoming an eating disorder, or lessening your daily anxiety.
Whatever the goals are, it’s important that you as the client play a primary role in setting them. After all, this is your life, your time, and your precious energy.
My ultimate goal for your first individual therapy session is that we both come away with a good idea of where we’re headed.
I want you to feel seen and known – and I want you to truly feel like our work together can get you where you need and want to go.
What to Know About Confidentiality
When you’re in treatment with any therapist, you can expect confidentiality. That means your therapist can’t tell anyone that you’re a patient or what you’re working on together. What you’ve told them in your sessions together cannot be shared with any identifying details.
The exception to the confidentiality rule is if you are in immediate danger of hurting yourself or someone else. In that case, your therapist may be required to report this to the appropriate entities as a matter of state or federal law. Your therapist will review their confidentiality agreement with you during your first session.
Therapy Helps You Build a Stronger Foundation
There’s a myth floating around out there that it’s possible to have problems that are “too small” for therapy. And I want you to understand: your symptoms don’t need to be severe in order for you to seek therapy.
Many people choose to see a therapist because they know they simply aren’t feeling as good as they could be – and they want to address those feelings before they get worse.
It’s important to remember that we’re not always looking for a cure when it comes to individual therapy. The goal of individual therapy might be building resilience and learning different ways of coping with the everyday stressors we can’t help but face – just with a stronger foundation than what we had before.
And because you’re building this new, stronger foundation, successful therapy can help you long after your sessions have ended.
So individual therapy might be a great choice for you if you’re struggling with things like strained interpersonal relationships, grief or loss, substance abuse, burnout, or a history of abuse. It might be a great choice for you if you’ve tried it before… Or if you haven’t.
More specifically, the combination of the Enneagram and Brainspotting might truly revolutionize your understanding of yourself.
I’d love to help you get there.
Hi, I’m Melinda
I’m a therapist who uses the Enneagram and Brainspotting to help 20 & 30-somethings understand and change unhelpful patterns, love themselves, and navigate all the big transitions and emotions that come with where they are in life.
WHAT MY CLIENTS OFTEN LOOK LIKE:
1) Empaths and “HSPs” who feel deeply and are afraid that something is “wrong” with them or have been told that they are too “sensitive”
2) Helpers or “over-givers” who want healthier relationships with themselves and others
3) Enneagram enthusiasts who want to grow
4) Premarital and young couples wanting to start their marriage off on the right foot